so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss
lol wtaf. i can’t read a single word of this paragraph
Ok but imagine being the gf here
You’ve been chillin with ur S/O and u decide to get up and get a snack. U never talk to ur S/O’s roommate, but u wanna play it cool like u didn’t just have sex 20 minutes ago in this apartment while said roommate was probably home. Awk af, but u got this.
U look up and nod at them, about to offer a noncommittal “hey” or “how’s it going,” when the fucking roommate just
This stemc/uster is afraid of me… I have seen its true face. The scutt/e/anes are extended fi/th basins and the fi/th basins are fu// of b/ood and when the resif/uid channe/s fina//y scab over, a// the vermin wi// drown. The accumu/ated fi/th of a// their pai/ing and murder wi// foam up about their torso pi//ars and a// the quadrants-for-profit and po/itricksters wi// /ook up and shout “Save us!” … and I’// /ook down and whisper “No.”
Yogg-Sarongurt 