shinyrock6498:

scifigrl47:

So as a Legend of Zelda fangirl, I’ve been buying the Zelda amiibos all along, despite that I’ve never had anything to do with them.  They were nice sculpts, and I have poor impulse control.

Look!  How cute!

So I was super excited to find out that you could get exclusive items if you used them with Breath of the Wild.

Having never actually, you know, used one, I went on the Nintendo website to find out how you make little plastic figure play nice with my Switch.  It explained that once the Amiibo rune had been enabled on my Sheikh Slate, I could just tap the base of the figure against the right hand control stick of my Switch to claim a daily prize.

But I didn’t have an Amiibo rune.

No problem, says I.  As I visit shrines, I keep getting runes!  I must unlock it later!

(and yes, to those of you uninterested in such things, I am aware that this is making less sense with each sentence I type.)

Anyway, sixteen shrines later, I’m like, huh, I haven’t gotten any more runes since that first batch, I wonder if I missed something.  It’s possible.  I’ve missed a lot of things!  So I decide to hedge my bets and do a quick online search for where I get the Amiibo rune.

That would be under the ‘Options’ menu.  Where I go to press the button that says “Turn On.”

Well, now I’m pretty sure I can’t possibly feel any dumber, but I do that and collect my Amiibos.  It’s raining in game, and Link (the Hylian, not the cat) is huddled on the edge of a cliff, about to enter a shrine.  I have literally half a heart left, but that’s okay.  When you beat a shrine, it fills your heart containers back up, and I am a hoarder in games.  I HAVE healing items, but why use them?  The shrine will take care of it.

So I’m going to use my first Amiibo!  Maybe I will get a bow!  Or a shield!

For some reason, I can’t figure out how to make it work.  The screen just gives me a little ‘x’ and I don’t know what that means, so I’m basically pressing a tiny plastic toy on every available surface of my Switch, looking for HOW MAKE WORK.

See, the thing I didn’t realize is, you get your goodies in a chest.  Which needs a certain patch of ground to, you know, generate.  And by pure chance, I rotate things just enough for it to work.

And suddenly there’s fish everywhere.  Fish.  Dropping out of the sky.  All over the place.  

How weird, I think.  Why is it dropping out of the sky-

And that’s as far as I got before the treasure chest containing my daily prize dropped out of the sky, too.  And clipped the edge of the shrine.  And fell on the only open chunk of ground.  Where, as it turned out, Link was also standing.

You take damage from falling objects.

And that is how I killed myself with a treasure chest.  A treasure chest that I specifically summoned.  To kill me.

oh no, poor you. thats a terrible but glorious way to die