my favourite attribute in an anti-SJW is the complete inability to recognize when someone is clowning them to hell and back so they continue to act like its a civilized debate when the other side is like âi will put a fist up my ass so hard ill fly to the moon and create a fart atmosphere around itâ theyll respond to that like âad heminem, try learning how to debate next time you try to come at meâ
Thatâs because you fucking simpletons get so wound up that there are people who actually speak like that unironically. Itâs at the point now where people cant even differentiate between a troll, and someone whoâs being serious because they both sound identical.Â
Ad hominem*
im honestly speechless replying to this, i dont know how to even begin describing how you had the audacity to call me a simpleton while falling for the trick this post describes, theres not even a trick in this post, its just a description of it, but that was enough, you even corrected my eminem joke. im just. i genuinely did not think you people could be this dense but i am so fucking happy that you are cause im gonna frame this response and put it on my wall
okay but dirk going to jakeâs planet for the first time and running his hands through the grass and being like woah have you felt this stuff jake? this is super fuckin weird and jake just smiling as he watches dirk point out how pretty the flowers and trees are when youâre not seeing them through a screen
dirk just fucking running because heâs never been able to before, he just sprints across an entire plain of grass, only stopping to climb some rocks. poor jake following behind
jake teaches him to climb a tree for the first time, something he comes to regret because damn it, dirk, itâs been three hours, will you please come down?
The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and itâs honestly a waste that my entire life isnât constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didnât talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized âwait itâs dark as fuckâ so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girlâs underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driverâs side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me heâd locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him âyou know that sounds super suspicious rightâ and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didnât follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me âpiñataâ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play âbloody maryâ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said âno thanksâ and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of⊠locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360Âș spin with nobody touching it, so I said âthat was neatâ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing Iâd ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didnât even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
if straight people gotta change pronouns when theyâre singing covers so they donât sound gay, then asexual singers have every right to replace any and all pronouns with âchicken nuggetsâ
No no no. This is so problematic because chicken nuggets has a different number of syllables, and itâs going to throw the whole song off. You have to pick a one syllable word. Like bears.
âThen he looks at bears, bears look at me, I look at bears and we look at bears.â
– R. Kelley, Trapped in the Closet ch. 7
I KISSED A BEAR AND I LIKED IT
doncha wish ur bearfriend was a freak like me
HEY HEY YOU YOU I DONâT LIKE YOUR BEARFRIEND
Bear was a bear, bear was a bear, can I make it any more obvious
Yogg-Sarongurt 
