In the Legend of Korra, the Metal Clan tried teaching Bolin how to metal bend to no avail. But it turned out that he had another even more impressive ability all along. Lava bending.
Sometimes you just need time, patience, and a sturdy patoot to find out what your special skill might be.
Concept: a bunch of high school Satanists get drunk in the local graveyard and try to conjure a demon, but they’re using one of those “reconstructionist” ritual books that gets its sources all mixed up, so they end up with a minor Mithraic fertility spirit that hasn’t spoken with humans in like 1700 years instead. By the terms of its binding it’s not allowed to leave until it’s ensured a successful harvest for its summoners, which is a problem, because none of these goobers have ever raised so much as a houseplant; if it wants to go home, it’s going to have to teach them how to garden – whether they want to learn or not!
“Five high school sophomores were arrested today on charges of operating an illegal pot growing business behind the Home Depot on I-95. The 200-foot-tall plants, which police could see from their station…”
so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing
and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know
but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno
except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer
a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”
“oh,” says telemarketer guy.
“yeah,” i say.
there’s some mutually-confused silence.
“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”
“oh,” says telemarketer guy.
“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.
i’m just a big fan of the tone in which the ending was told
They also have a blog…. with generic parenting-related topics
most of these articles are posted multiple times with different titles
These posts seem suspiciously too competent for the usual phrasing on this website, and are from the pespective of parents. careful googling reveals that they’re actually from a mommy blog, here , whose content was just wholesale stolen.
…..okay
on another note, they have a character page with… this guy
…… i hate it
anyways, at the bottom of the page, there’s a link to the hosting company they use.
They’re a 3d animation company in India pretending to be a media/web hosting company for a youtube channel based in the UAE? ?? what is happening??? also btw they’re hiring!
This website also has a privacy policy page
An note.
The website also has the same layout as the first website… but with a buuunch of broken links.
….except for these, which all link to the main website instead of their profile. okay
In conclusion: What the fuck ?
So, I’ve been dealing with these videos for years now at work, and the simple answer is that they’re ad revenue generators.
Make enough of them that are similar enough and pass kid-safe standards (which they all do because they’re brightly colored and nonviolent, two of the major standards), and you can get the YouTube autoplay algorithm to put your videos on basically infinitely, until someone actually changes the channel. The next recommended video, based on content and audience similarity, will just be another one of your “lullaby educational kids song 3 hours” monstrosities, indefinitely.
A kid, babysitter, or exhausted parent clicks on one of them. It plays. Ads appear every 7 minutes (the maximum amount before additional screening for spam kicks in). The kid wanders off without turning off the console or computer, just the screen. Now you get ad revenue every 7 minutes until that machine turns off or gets used again, probably overnight or maybe even a full day, because every next autoplay is another of your videos. And every video that plays further locks in the autoplay.
Channels set up these nested shell companies so their channel can become verified as an official business channel, which automatically reduces the amount of screening you undergo, too.
They tend to be based in India because there’s a sufficiently skilled talent base and resource base to produce the hundreds of hours of just distinct enough visuals. In many cases, titles are generated algorithmically based on what pulled the most revenue the week before and to search terms for the last few days. Videos are then created to match the algorithmic titles, hence the bizarre combinations of topics.
This helps get these videos to the top of search results for popular kids searches, increasing the chance that the infinite recommendation loop gets started by the largest possible number of people.
I admit, if you haven’t been wading through this shitshow professionally for a few years, it probably looks pretty creepy.
Made everyone’s favourite loa to go on a cake for my bf! Had to keep it very simple since the cake printer isnt the best in the world. Came out pretty nicely!
Yogg-Sarongurt 