Did I ever tell you all about the time my dad was teaching and a student climbed IN the window?
I only got like two responses on this but it’s one of my favorite stories from my dad’s classroom so buckle up.
So my dad taught junior English at a local high school, he taught on the second story of a building that was built back when schools had large windows that opened, and his windows faced the front of the building.
So one day in like April he’s teaching Moby Dick or Gone with the Wind or something with the windows open a crack to allow spring air into the classroom and one of the windows opens further and a kid climbs in through the window.
This kid, who hasn’t been at school since winter break, puts his finger to his lips. crouches for a second under the window, crawls to the classroom door, peaks out the window in the door, opens the door and slips into the hall.
He apparently then dashes down the hall, slips through the door into another junior English class (taught by my dad’s friend), where he again puts his finger to his lips, jogs across the room, climbs out the window (which faced a courtyard on the backside of the front hall) and disappears.
Turns out, the kid had been in a juvenile detention center since Christmas, escaped, and decided no one would look for him in his school. To this day I have no idea what happened after he climbed into the courtyard.
#this kid and the pie kid are my favories
Please tell about the pie kid because this story is hilarious and I want to hear about the pie kid
Ah yes, pie kid. The pie kid is legendary at the school.
So my dad’s school has faculty meetings every Teusday after school, and the teachers would all bring food (because after 7+ hours of school even teachers are hungry then they have to sit in a meeting for at least an hour talking about test scores or whatever).
So this kid, I don’t know what the motivation here was, but he would sneak into the library and take food from the meetings. Usually they just let him because, I mean, he’s not really harming anything. That just made him bolder though. One day he began taking an entire pie from the meetings.
So one day he’s sitting in the hall eating an entire pie because high school, and security took offense at this (because he was in the building after all students were supposed to leave, also he was apparently a trouble maker who security was familiar with) and this is where the story starts getting a little crazy.
Obviously, when security shows up, pie kid runs (carrying the uneaten half of his pie). This becomes a normal Teusday afternoon sight: security chasing pie kid through the halls as he’s eating pie stolen from a faculty meeting. The kid regularly found himself in odd corners of the building, including the roof, the boiler room, the field house, the magnet school behind the high school, etc. hiding from security and eating his pie.
Eventually, security caught up with him and his pie and dragged him to the principal’s office.
Now, the principal at this point is a little.. strict. He runs a tight ship.. or thinks he does.. you know those people who are VERY concerned with their world being EXTREMELY orderly and the world just stares them in the face and refuses? That was this principal’s life. He was trying to make a 2,500 student high school walk in lock step. As shown by the last story, that doesn’t happen at this school.
So the principal is alerted that pie kid, who’s been on the run from security for 2 months, is in his office with today’s pie. So the kid waits in the office finishing his pie and the principal walks in, closes the door, sits down, and says something like “what is going on?”
At this point the kid (who has finished his pie of the day) gets up, calmly walks over to the window, opens it, climbs out, hops the bushes under the window, and runs away.
That was the last anyone at the school saw him.
Well that was unexpected but a lovely tie in and that school needs to have better control of its windows.
My fashion trick: have a big head. Have a father with a slightly bigger head. Abscond with all the hats your father acquires that are just slightly too small for him. Wear them everywhere.
human brain: ha ha funney post on tumblr website homestuck brain:
oh god did homestuck ruin another perfectly good word
With the dad and hat thing it’s even worse
I do not understand and I am frightened of my ignorance.
i can’t believe you haven’t read homestuck ship. You very much give off vibes of someone who read homestuck, and enjoyed it it and isnt broken up or ashamed about it
I read a little bit of the very first part years ago and then stopped. I got to a lot of puppet-heavy dialogue and thought, hey, actually, fuck this.
I am, however, surrounded by Homestuck friends in real life. Alexi and Gill and Sar and Mallaidh Anne and Tacie and… probably others…
Your name is glumshoe.
“Glumshoe” is a pun on “gumshoe”, which is early slang for a private investigator or plainclothes detective, referring to the gum rubber soles of their shoes that allowed for quiet, “sneaky” walking. I uh…. I post a lot of noir detective-related content.
This is just good old-fashioned detective business! Carry on with your case! There is nothing suspicious here! This is not the gumshoe you are looking for!
I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been led into a trap.
Me trying to escape from unintentional Homestuck references:
it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters
basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact
(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)
harry decides upon 3 goals:
fuck up as much shit as possible
make a shitload of money
save some lives or whatever
it is
H I L A R I O U S
his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?
he has a psychic scar
(hermione is SO PISSED about this)
(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)
everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this
harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year
“snape is my sole ally”
he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great
even draco is a friend!
(kind of)
(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)
harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”
either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”
because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn
(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)
it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it
and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”
in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic
harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard
harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.
cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.
the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring
he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort
everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”
(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.
snape is so angry
it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off